Let's talk about sex, baby.

Today's Question: "I want my partner to have the best sex every time we're together, but I'm not exactly comfortable/sure how to talk to her about it.  How do you start a conversation when your pride is potentially on the line?"

Communication is key. Isn't that what we're always being told? And yet why is it so difficult? I think you've nailed this one on the head reader--putting yourself out there is hard! What if her response is less than positive? What if she says you're great but is really just afraid to tell you what she wants? Or even scarier what if she doesn't know what she wants?
   You're already way ahead of the game in that you are thinking about this question--that is step one. Now for step two there is a fork in the road and you can decide to approach the subject one of two ways.
1. Talk to her while you are fooling around/engaging in sexual activity. Try something--a lick, a kiss, a position and ask "is this ok?" or "do you like that?" or "show me where to put my _____." You could also ask her to take the lead and say "today I won't do anything unless you direct me..so tell me where to go and what to do and I will follow!" She may enjoy being in control and that may give you hints to what turns her on.
2. You can talk to her when you are not engaging in sexual activity or foreplay. Just ask matter-of-factly what she likes. When you are watching TV, or on the phone, ask her what feels good when you guys are getting down to business. "Baby, what is the hottest thing we've/I've done while we are making love?" or ask her "when have you been the most turned on lately?" You may even want to try a little phone sex as that will give her the opportunity to describe in words what she finds sexually appealing.

Perhaps the most preferable is that you talk BEFORE you even engage in any sexual activity...try to figure out what she likes before you get into things.

Overall, asking these questions may seem awkward at first but it will get easier, and she will really appreciate you opening the door! But remember, she may not know exactly what she likes or wants either. And she should take the time to explore a little on her own, and try different things with you. Together, you will figure out how to have an awesome time!