Ouch! That's my cervix!

Today's question: "Lately I have been bleeding a little after sex. My boyfriend's penis is very long and I think he might be hitting a sore spot way in the back because it hurts when he hits it. What should I do so we can have less painful sex?"

Reader, the spot that you are describing is most likely the tip of your cervix. The cervix is the entrance to the uterus and it is located at the "end" of the vaginal canal (where the penis is entering you). Click here for a diagram. Most men do not reach the cervix with their penis, but occasionally simply based on the fit of the two people engaging in vaginal sex, the penis may hit the cervix and cause discomfort or pain. Usually, the easiest thing to do to avoid this it to change positions...in general certain positions will give his penis more or less contact with the cervix. For example, I would avoid "doggy style" (where you are on your hands and knees, lying down, or on knees sitting up and your partner is entering from behind you) generally this angle may be more likely to hit the cervix. Try "missionary position" (where you are facing each other and lying down). Also how well lubricated are you? because chafing (the rubbing together of skin which resulting in irritation) may be causing a little bleeding after sex. If the bleeding continues though or becomes more frequent, definitely go to your gynecologist or a local clinic as irregular bleeding can be a sign of an infection or other abnormality. If you need to use a lubricant there are many out there you will have to experiment to find which is right for you. Try to avoid spermicidal ones though as many people are allergic to them and they tend to irritate the vagina more.
If your body is not quite "ready" for sex--that is your vagina has not had time to lubricate and you perhaps do not feel sufficiently "turned on" (a high feeling of sexual arousal)-- your cervix may not pull up the way it usually does when you are well lubricated. Make sure you take time before your partner enters you to engage in some foreplay--come up with ways of engaging with your partner that will heighten your sexual arousal before beginning vaginal intercourse. Basically figure out what turns you on and be ready to try different positions and find what works for you!